if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
