i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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