I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
