it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The power of my boobs compel you
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
