i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
