yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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