how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize