I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
