dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
