idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
