Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
