I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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