I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
