What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
