its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Did you just see the Batmobile???
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
