his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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