So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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