it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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