Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
