theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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