If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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