I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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