What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize