NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
