: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
