According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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