Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
