she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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