i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize