people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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