this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
