Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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