I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you win again, gameday.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize