you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
