mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize