She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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