took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i drank out of a bidet.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize