I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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