you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
