there was a trapeze. enough said
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
