I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize