I want to make a zoo with you.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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