How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
