Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Randomize
