Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
