hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
