Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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