Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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