my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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