I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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