I hate all girls vehemently.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
