If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
