Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
