very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
