i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
