Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
