Porn is love you can see.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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